I know, I know. “Again? Aren’t you tired of this game already?” Well, as long as Poncle keeps putting out both free and paid DLC, probably not. Additionally, while I was on the PC grinding through the last free update, Space 54, and the latest paid DLC, the Contra homage titled Operation Guns, I was also digging in to complete all of the base game content on the phone version of the game.
So, here we go again. First, tucked in Space 54 is a new weapon that looks dinky for the first few levels, Phas3r, but both at level eight and evolved to Photon Storm, this thing can clear the screen of all enemies. It can do this even on a single weapon challenge run with the adorable new character Space Dude. But if you add his gun to any other character, it’s an instant win. One the right build, it can even kill the grim reaper at the end of a run. Yes, it really is that powerful.
Then there’s Bat Robbert, whose weapon is bats. They fly in at angles, and at low levels they can be quite frustrating by not going where I need them. If Bat is hit by an enemy, another stream of bats will go to that enemy’s location. (Which again, at early levels isn’t great because by then, said enemy is elsewhere.) Bat’s big deal is that at regular intervals, getting him to critical health will give him an increase in max health. You have to get back to full health and level up before doing it again, but when pairing this with Hollow Heart and Metaglio Left, Bat can eventually get so much health that he can tank hits from the grim reaper and kill that dude. Plus, once his weapon, Pako Batiliar, evolves to its final form, Bat can walk through mobs of high-level enemies like I do through a warm spring rain. It’s good stuff.
The level is also fine, sprinkling in some regular enemies with new arrivals like little green men, robots, and space ducks. But aside from playing on a few runs to unlock all the free loot inside, I found it too restricting. It’s all narrow rocky walkways until halfway through, and there’s a lot of downtime with nothing to kill even after using power ups to increase enemy frequency and strength.
On the other hand, there’s Operation Guns, which bring in two new maps, one with three boss fights, and a whole lot of new mechanics all meant to emulate Contra. It all works, and it ends in a boss fight with a giant mecha beast that’s very familiar to old school Contra fans. As an added bonus, there’s also a hover-cycle race level that plays as a less frustrating version of that one awful, dreadful, infuriating Battletoads level that prevented me from ever seeing the end of the damned game. (Not that I’m bitter or anything.)
But, set aside the level and all its brilliant goodies. What this update brings is ELEVEN new characters, all with guns that evolve into insanely powerful variants. I’ll give just one example. Remember the OG Contra spread gun, and how you and your siblings and/or cousins would debate who got it first because it’s so bad ass? Well this version evolves so that the character has two jet-shaped drones who are also using spread guns. You don’t even need anything else after getting that gun, because it is stupidly overpowered. I love it.
But I love all the guns, and adding them to any of the original characters creates monstrous new builds that can wipe the screen even with the game cranked up to the highest difficulty levels. It’s absolutely glorious, and when you consider that I only paid 2.49 for what amounted to twenty hours of new content, that’s about a good a deal in gaming as you’re ever going to find.
Then there’s a new adventure mode, which…I don’t really like. But I didn’t like the first two adventures offered for free, and I didn’t like the adventure offered with Legacy of the Moonspell either. I appreciate the idea behind the mode, offering a structured and curated new experience with a smaller cast of survivors and weapons. But honestly, I don’t care for having no way to control my progress until I’m halfway through a slow and painful slog with my least favorite builds. At least with this new addition to the mode, it’s much easier to hit a few goals and quit early to move on to the next set of goals. But if I’m always quitting out rather than playing, doesn’t that say something about how little fun I’m having?
It doesn’t help that with the DLC maps being mazes, they all have more detailed maps to let you know where everything is. But the remixed DLC adventure modes feature similar mazes with no maps. So at least for the first runs, I spent several runs just trying to figure out where the goals were. Just make a map more detailed if the level is a maze, you know?
But maybe I’m alone in disliking Adventures mode. Besides, it’s one add-on outside of the main game, which I absolutely love. When I consider the base game is five bucks, and it has given me many, MANY hours of fun, the fact that one optional part doesn’t work for me is better than fine.
But let’s say that despite my constant praise for the game, you’re still thinking, “I don’t know, I might need that five bucks for food or a Starbucks coffee,” I have a proposition for you: there’s also a free version for phones and tablets.
But before I endorse this version, there are two caveats. First, how good is your eyesight? Mine’s turning kinda shit as I grow older, so I can only do a couple rounds before I need to stop to rest my eyes. Which is why it’s taken me this long to finally unlock everything a second time around. If your eyesight is great, or if you’re okay with squinting, then you can play the whole game for free and then decide if you want to buy the PC version to reward the developer, or just buy the DLC on your phone.
The other caveat is, there’s ads. In a twist of mobile standards, all the ads are optional, and none are ever forced on you. But there are ads to get an extra revival, and another to get bonus gold after the end of a round. I’ve sometimes taken both, and every single time, it’s the same ads for Hero Wars. Seriously, I have to wonder what I said into my spying phone that made the makers of Hero Wars advertise to me constantly on YouTube, every gaming site, and every free app I use. Just fuck off and die in a grease fire, Hero Wars, because I ain’t never playing you…again.
Anywho, the point I’m trying to make is, you really should play this game. If you’re broke or still somehow uncertain about whether you’ll like it, go get the free version. But if you do get the PC or console version, be prepared to get the paid DLC add-ons, because they are all worth their asking price. The way I shill for this game, you’d think I work for Poncle. But I don’t, and I’m just so in love with this game that I want everyone to play it.
That’s it for me, but I should give a heads up that output on the blog is likely to be slow in the new few months. The old PC isn’t up to playing the newer games I’ve bought, and I’m still a couple months out from being able to buy something newer and more powerful. On top of that, I’m about to spend a lot of time committed to “butt in seat, words on screen,” to finish up a novel and two collections of short stories so I can hopefully have new stuff out just before Christmas. There might still be some rambles or a book review, but know that my silence is because I’ve got to get fictional and can’t devote as much energy here. I’ll be back soon enough, probably with a review of Elden Ring and Star Wars Jedi: Fallen Order. (Both games I own, but can’t play on my ancient rig.)
See you soon-ish, y’all.