I knocked on the door lightly, and I’d never felt as nervous in my entire life as I did while I waited for it to open.
When it did, I looked up and took a deep breath. “Hi, Chet.”
“How do you know my name?” he asked, sounding almost angry at me.
Still it wasn’t quite the same when he was dressed in jeans and a grey hooded sweatshirt with the sleeves cut off
“It’s a really long story,” I said. Bowing my head to avoid staring, I reached up to rub the back of my neck. “A really funny one too, but I…anyway, I was wondering if I could come in. If you don’t feel comfortable with that, maybe we could take a walk. I need to talk to you.”
“You don’t care about being seen with me?” Chet asked.
“You aren’t a hero anymore.” I sighed. “I doubt anybody would care if I…can I come in to talk, please?”
Chet nodded and stepped aside, letting me into his apartment. I looked around, noticing that he had a canister-type vacuum cleaner sitting by the couch, its hose tucked between the couch cushions.
I smirked at Chet, who blushed and said, “I was cleaning the living room!”
“I never said a word, now did I?” I teased him before I sat down. “I know this might be rude of me, but do you have anything to drink?”
“Just cheap beer,” Chet said.
“I’d like one, if it’s all right with you.”
Chet went into the kitchen, and he returned with two beers. He handed me one and sat down at the other end of the couch.
“This is a little weird for me,” he confessed.
I nodded before taking a drink from my beer. “Yeah, I know how you mean. Um, how are you doing? Do you have a job?”
“Yes. I still can go to work at least.” Chet glanced at a picture of Vicky on the end-table beside the couch.
“What do you do? Are you a body builder?” I asked, guessing since I saw him go to the gym every day.
“No, I’m a personal trainer.” He shrugged as though I were silently passing judgment. “It pays my bills, and I get to meet all kinds of interesting people.”
I nodded and sipped my beer. “Is that how you met Vicky?”
“Why are you bringing her up?” Chet asked, unable to look at me.
I sighed. “I was thinking of something the other day. Before you met her, why were you a hero?”
Chet took a long drink from his beer and leaned back on his couch. He turned the bottle in his hands for a few minutes before taking another long drink. “I was doing it to keep the city safe. I felt like my powers were a gift that I had to share with people who weren’t as gifted as me. But after her, City wasn’t as important. Maybe you think it’s stupid, but I did it all for her, to keep her safe.”
“That’s not stupid,” I assured him.
“Maybe, but now I feel stupid,” Chet said. He screwed his face up in a grimace of annoyance. “It was those damn tights that started my problems. I liked how they felt, so I tried on some stockings. Those felt so good that I tried panties, and it all kind of slid downhill from there. I couldn’t stop myself, and then she caught me.”
Chet reached up to rub at his glassy eyes.
“Chet, I already know this part. You told me, and now Vicky has told me as well.” I held up my hand when he looked at me with a sharp glare. “I talked to her after I saved her from a plane crash. I even took her to the hospital for some minor cuts. Trust me, I treated Vicky like gold. Admittedly, I was saving her from one of my own plots, but you could have saved her if you weren’t still whining over not getting laid anymore.”
“It’s not like that!” Chet insisted. “I saved this city…hell, I’ve even saved the planet for her, and she still bailed out on me. You know, I can’t even put on my outfit anymore without thinking about the things she said to me before she left.”
“What would you say if I told you that she still loves you?” I asked.
Chet glared at me and shook his head. “You don’t know that.”
“I do, and I know because I’ve been a very busy villain.” Now I was seeing something of a righteous glare from my hero, and I didn’t like how it felt. I dropped my head to stare at the label on my beer.
I said, “I did it all for you, and you never looked out of your window once, not even when I dropped planes all over City. Leona caught most of them, but she couldn’t get them all.”
“Leona?” Chet asked, shaking his head in disbelief.
“Yes Chet, Leona saved the city. We’re growing in ways that you can’t begin to imagine, but you ignored all of that. You’re in here hiding because one woman broke your heart. You almost let her die a few weeks ago because you just can’t put on those tights.”
Nothing. I wanted for him to say something, and his silence infuriated me. “I saved your ex for you, and do you know why?”
“No, why?” Chet asked before he took a drink from his bottle.
“Because I need you to stop me. You’re my hero, and you’re supposed to stop me before my plots reach their lethal stage.” I took a breath, trying to keep myself under control. “A few weeks ago, I killed so many people that the numbers humbled even me, and you just sat here on your ass playing some miserable game of pity party.”
Chet nodded, looking down at his bottle. He looked at my nearly empty bottle. “We’ll need to walk to the store if you want to continue this conversation.”
He got up and turned away from me while I was still gaping with an open mouth.
I huffed a short laugh and finished my beer, setting the empty bottle on the coffee table before I followed Chet to the door.
I looked at Chet as we walked, smiling at how our choice of jeans and a sweatshirt were almost identical. Chet’s hooded sweatshirt had a logo for the gym he worked at while mine was blank. I didn’t rip my sleeves off either, but then my arms weren’t so thick that they wouldn’t fit in normal sleeves.
Two block from the complex, Chet glanced at me and sighed. “I get the feeling that you’re not telling me something about Vicky.”
“Like the fact that I kidnapped her last week?” I said, shrugging at his exasperated gasp. “I needed to talk to her to find out if there was a chance to get you two back together. In the end, it was Leona that got her to admit that she still loved you.”
“Leona,” Chet said in a deadpan voice. “As in ‘little Miss kill anything that moves?’”
“I told you that she’s changed. Weren’t you listening?” Before Chet could answer, I said, “You know, we went camping the other weekend with some friends of mine, and she spent most of that time doting on a ten-year-old boy. You know what? Every time she laughed at one of his pointless and goofy jokes or his silly faces, I silently thanked you.”
“Why?” Chet asked.
“Because you left and everything changed. I couldn’t get Leona to calm down until I took your role in the game for her. At first, it annoyed the crap out of me to have her pawing all over me, but now it’s just something we do.
“You may not know this, but Leona worshipped you for your strength, and for your moral character. She still does, but now she’s learning that she has the strength to move on and live without you.” I sighed, scowling in shame as I shook my head.
“I still haven’t. Not a day goes by that I don’t wish you’d go flying through City again. Leona wants me to retire, and I think I could, if only I could get you back into the game for just a little more time.”
We walked into the convenience store and the clerk gawked at us before uttering a delighted laugh. “Well, you certainly don’t see this every day! A superhero and a super villain in the same store!” He laughed and waved at out near matching outfits. “What is this? Do you guys have vacations and days off like normal folks?”
I grinned at Chet before nodding. “As a matter of fact, this is my day off. Last weekend, I went on vacation.” Waiting out the clerk’s laughter, I added, “I took my sidekick camping in the mountains. We went fishing and swimming…Leona got a tan. Really, it was just lovely.”
“Well I’ll be!” Guffawing, the clerk looked at Chet and asked, “What about you?”
Chet frowned and opened his mouth. But then he closed it, uncertain of how to answer.
“He’s been on sick leave,” I covered for him. “He had a terrible strain put on his heart, and it’s taking him a while to recover. That’s why Wallace is standing in for him.”
“That’s too bad,” the clerk said. “Hey, maybe after you get better, you can team up with Wallace to beat Light Master!” He grimaced, and then offered me an apologetic look. “No disrespect to you, though.”
“None taken.” I laughed and added, “Even if I did, it’s my day off. I’d have to come back tomorrow to make a beer run. As it is, we’ll be buying it today.”
The clerk laughed hard. “Now I know why I like reading your comics.”
“I appreciate that.” I looked at a thoroughly stumped Chet, snapping my fingers to get his attention. “Hey, are we getting beer or not?”
“Huh? Uh, yeah.” Chet went to the cooler to grab a six pack.
I wanted to tell him to grab something better than the cheap swill he selected, but I didn’t want to embarrass him in front of the clerk.
But since it seemed cheap stuff was all he could afford, I decided to pay for it. I took my money out before Chet could, stuffing a fifty into the clerk’s hand.
“Keep the change,” I said.
“Oh, gosh, I couldn’t—” the clerk said.
“You will, and I insist. You’ve put me in a good mood by admitting to liking my comics.”
Guffawing laughter, the clerk nodded and said, “Thanks. You guys have a nice day!”
“We’re trying.” I scooped up the beer before Chet could.
He soon fell into step beside me outside the store.
I noticed him giving me an odd look, as though I were a puzzle he couldn’t figure out. “What? There’s something you want to ask, so just ask me already and get it over with.”
“When you slipped into my apartment before, what was the first thought that popped into your mind?” Chet spoke so quietly I almost didn’t hear him.
“I can’t tell you that, Chet.” I beamed a grin at him. “I’m not wearing my suit, so a bitch slap from you would be lethal right now.”
“No, I wouldn’t hit you. I promise,” Chet said.
I looked at Chet, my smile fading as I thought back to that day. “My first thought was that since you were already half dressed, maybe I could charm you out of your panties.”
“I knew it.” Chet shook his head, then fell silent. He stared at the sidewalk for half a block before he could speak again. “You’re always wearing your mask around me, but you didn’t today, and you’ve got almost the exact same expression today as the first day I met you.”
He frowned, regarding me with an expression of disbelief. “You mean to say that you’ve killed thousands just for a stupid crush on me?”
“It is pretty weak, isn’t it?” I admitted before my smile returned. “But you saved the planet because of your crush on Vicky, so aren’t we a pair? She left you, and then you left me. But unlike you, I didn’t mope around. I went out and tried to make you come back.”
My smile slid off my face. “Without you, I learned exactly what I’m capable of, and…I scare myself, Chet. My friend Wallace has helped me with that, but I still wanted to get you back because…” I exhaled a small sigh, deciding to be honest. “Because I’ve missed you. I had one chance to do this right, and I took it.”
“Do what right?” Chet asked as we walked into his apartment.
“Open another beer first,” I suggested. “You may need it. I take it you at least know who Dr. Wallace Cornwall is.”
“He wrote a self-help book for super heroes, didn’t he?” Chet handed me a beer.
I followed him to his kitchen as he put the rest in the refrigerator. “Chet, you could try turning on your television from time to time.” I stopped to open my beer and drink from it.
But I was covering for my sudden sense of guilt. I remembered the DA saying almost the same thing to me, and here I was, lecturing Miracle Man on being more attentive.
But then, I am the villain. I thought as much and reminded myself that it was okay for villains to be hypocrites.
“Wallace has been standing in for you for nearly two months now,” I said. “He was patrolling the city and fighting crime just like you would, but I staged my fights with him, to help boost both his credibility and his popularity. I ended up making a real test of his abilities, and he had some problems with a few of my ‘colleagues’ at the same time my test began.
“So, there was no hero to save the day, which is why Leona had to step in. I hate to sound like a broken record, but City needs you, and not just to protect it from me. Do you know how many super villains have come to the city in the absence of an A-class hero? We even had a rogue hero try to come here.”
“I did hear about the Rocket.” Chet opened his beer and tossed the cap at an open trash bin in the corner before going back to his couch. “He got arrested for brutally murdering a villain named Devastator in front of a traffic camera. The police called his actions horrendous, and the judge had him locked away on a life sentence. The last I heard, he’d escaped and made his way here.”
I glared at him, incredulous at his casual attitude. “And you still sat here?”
“Duggan, I’m sorry.” Chet shrugged. “I don’t know what else to say. Is the Rocket still here?”
“Yes, but only because I buried him at the city dump after I ripped his heart out of his chest.” The cold malice in my voice caused Chet to flinch and look away from me. I felt sick to my stomach. “I wish I had done it sooner, because he beat Leona so badly that he nearly killed her. If Wallace hadn’t come to her rescue, she would have died.”
Now looking miserable, Chet said, “Oh, Duggan, I’m—”
“No, don’t apologize to me. I was sitting right there at the scene of the crime. I watched the whole thing, so I’m far more guilty than you are.” I swallowed hard as I wiped my eyes. The lump in my throat wouldn’t go away, so I tried to wash it away with beer. It only helped a little.
“God Chet, I never wanted you to show up more than I did right then. I’m the villain, and so I couldn’t do a thing to save my best friend from a psychopath. Then, as if he was answering my prayers, Wallace saved her.”
Chet asked, “How did he become a hero?”
“I made him. I gave him a collar to protect him and give him all of my powers” I smiled at his dumbfounded expression. “Wallace is my shrink, Chet. I hired him to help me retire from the game, but I can’t seem to do it no matter how much I say that I want to. We don’t just retire like that. You can’t tell me that you intend to walk away from your responsibilities forever just because you got dumped.”
Chet took a long drink from his beer. “So the point to this visit is what?”
“The point is, Wallace wants out. Come next week, he’ll be going back home to his wife, his wonderful son, and his real job as a psychiatrist. No one will be patrolling the streets for criminals, and a lot of super villains will be able to work with impunity. All those super-powered monsters will be unleashed on innocent people, and your precious Vicky is one of those civilians.”
I drained my beer, hoping to fortify my courage. “So I’m asking you to get out of this rut for all our sakes. I promise you, I won’t kill anyone with my plots if you return, but there’s at least eighty nationally known super villains who’ve all recently arrived in town. I’m sure they aren’t inclined to make the same promise. You’ve definitely got your work cut out for you if you come back.”
“I’ll think about it,” Chet said.
I groaned, feeling like my own words were being used against me. Frustrated, I decided to goad him by saying something flippant. “Fine then. I guess I’ll move along to asking how you look in a skirt.”
“I took some pictures, actually.” Chet smirked at me and asked, “Would you like to see them?”
“Oh my,” I gasped, a mischievous smile pulling at my lips. “Could I really?”
Chet’s smirk melted, and he watched me with an unreadable expression. Finally he nodded and went to the kitchen, returning with two more beers and a stack of Polaroids. He wasn’t dressed in a skirt, but rather a silk black teddy. I looked through the pictures of him in various bodybuilding poses and let a giggle escape.
Frowning with a look of shame, Chet asked, “Do I look stupid?”
“No, I just…” The beer was giving me an idea, but my nerd roots still fought with the alcohol. I forced myself to say, “Chet, there’s something I’d like to do with you, and I promise I won’t bring it up again if this offends you.”
“I won’t sleep with you,” Chet said.
Again I had a sense of déjà vu, another moment where I’d said almost the same thing to Leona. Of course, we were just sleeping together, but I guess it’s an issue of semantics.
I shook my head. “No, but I…I would like to kiss you,” I said, my voice falling in volume as I lost my nerve.
“Just once?” Chet said.
My heartbeat sped up to the point that I felt certain it could be heard as a machine gun firing.
I looked at Chet, who still regarded me with the same unreadable expression. “Y-yes, just once, and—and then I’d go home.”
I added mentally that Leona’s tail would be getting a thorough stroking that night.
“All right,” Chet agreed and stood up.
I almost spilled my beer as I went to set it down. I got up and stepped closer to Chet, feeling giddy as I took his wrists and closed his arms around my waist as Leona had done to me.
If I ever needed confirmation that I was sexually attracted to men, I got it then. I felt hot and tingly all over my body, and my dick started to swell.
But I looked up at Chet, and then I sighed. “I can’t do it.”
I’ll tell you why. Once I got his arms around me, I realized that I probably could seduce him. I had always thought I wanted that, but when I tried to imagine it then, I knew it was Wallace that I really wanted.
Wallace was a real friend to me. What I wanted with Chet was a one-dimensional fantasy, just like Wallace had said. I knew it, and I knew that I wanted something more for myself. I wanted something real.
I hugged Chet tightly instead, planting a small kiss on one of his gorgeous pecs before I went to the door. I turned as I opened it, smiling at Chet. “Watch your TV this week. I promise that you’ll have a good reason to come back if you do. Just remember to do that much for all of us.”
“I’ll think about it,” he said again.
Shaking my head, I shut his door and walked across the complex to Leona’s building. My legs felt like rubber, but I still managed to make it up the stairs and into Leona’s apartment.
I smiled as I realized how close I’d come to fulfilling one of my oldest fantasies. If Chet wouldn’t come back to his old job, at least I could retire with no regrets. I truly had what I’d wanted all along. It wasn’t just his attention that I’d been seeking, but his approval. And if he was willing to kiss me, even as a one-time deal, I knew I had it.
Still, I had my last great plot to play, and phase two had seemed successful: to guilt trip the hell out of Chet. After all, I had guilt tripped him so badly, he would have let me kiss him. Now is that talent or what?
Nevertheless, the point was not to get into his pants, but rather to get him back into his tights. It wouldn’t be long before I found out if my guilt trip would stay with Chet long enough to get him back on the job.
... I write dark fiction in a variety of genres. My blog contains my rants and rambles, and some short fiction that can only be found here.
I can be pretty fucking offensive, so viewer discretion is advised.
Looks like they had a nice visit, and now LM knows that he wants Wallace rather than Chet. I wonder how he is going to deal with that.
With his usual style and charm. ^_^