Leaping from the side of a building to rebound from my attack, Wallace hit me right on target on the point of my chin. While I rocked my head back, he swept his hand to swat the ‘detonator’ of my fake bomb out of my grasp.
Before I could recover, he punched me in my chest and sent me hurtling to the ground, where the crowd of onlookers parted like the Red Seas.
I hit the sidewalk hard enough to shake the ground under our audience, and I resisted the urge to smile as they applauded Wallace. Standing up, I growled evilly instead, playing my role as the ‘heel’ to the fullest.
“Oh, do shut up!” I said, again fighting back a grin as they booed and hissed at me.
You may wonder why it would matter, since I wore a mask. Well, actually, I stopped wearing my suit and had resorted to using a stealth collar. Instead of my usual costume, I wore a white body suit with the initials LM stenciled in the middle of my chest in black. This made me a contrasting opposite to Wallace, still sporting his usual black slacks and sweatshirt painted with a white W. We were flip-flopping values on the color chart, turning white into an evil color, while black…was the new black.
There was no point to wearing a mask when my face was showing up in more tabloids. But far from being thought of as a menace, people were really starting to like me. With my plots all being foiled, people weren’t as afraid of me. I’d become more and more like a character in a wrestling federation. People booed me, but they didn’t consider me a threat as long as Wallace was around.
I looked up at Wallace, who was waving to his adoring fans. “Don’t worry, folks!” he shouted. “I’ll get rid of the bomb with my heat vision!”
He glared at the bomb strapped to the wall of the city’s first national bank. The device was nothing more than a piñata filled with powdered magnesium to make a brilliant white and yellow burst of flame once Leona triggered it by remote control from several blocks away.
Sure it was cheesy, but the audience still oohed and ahed over it just as they had every time we did this stunt. They were easily amused, and we gave them a show like this every day in various parts of the city.
I shook with rage over my defeat, leaping at Wallace for the grand finale of our fight before I would make my escape to a chorus of booing and hissing.
Instead I froze in mid-air. Standing at back of the crowd was Vicky, who wore an amused smirk as our eyes met.
She knew I was faking this, and she was enjoying the moment just as much as everyone else was. She gave a short nod, and I turned to look for Wallace right as he dropped an elbow to the back of my neck.
That was planned, but I hadn’t been ready for it, so it took me by surprise. I slammed into the pavement just in front of Vicky, standing up a little too quickly for the crowd’s liking as I tried to recover my dignity.
I flew back up at Wallace and hit him with a clothesline, which was our cue for a change in plan. He went with me, allowing me to push him through a plate glass window and into an empty office. As soon as we landed, he was ready to talk.
“What’s up?” he asked. “Too cheesy?”
“Normally, I’d say we’re spreading the Cheez Whiz a bit thick, but this plan needs to end now. I just found Vicky.”
“Ah,” Wallace said and reached out to take my hand. He made me invisible by extending his field to me, understanding immediately what I had in mind. “Lead the way.”
We flew out of the building and I located Vicky, who was still waiting around though the rest of the crowd had departed. I think she expected me to try and talk to her, but after a few minutes, she gave up and began walking up the sidewalk.
We followed her to a ritzy condominium building, where we got into the revolving door behind her. At that exact moment, a hugely overweight guy stepped into the same space as us. His huge ass cheek—yes, just one—slammed me into Wallace and pinned us to the glass. My left arm was twisted between us at a painful angle, so I yanked it up, accidentally hitting poor Wallace in the balls.
Wallace gasped, and the fat guy looked around for a second before he stepped out of the revolving door and waved a hand behind his massive backside, apparently assuming that the sound had been him farting.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered as we exited the door. Giving in to a wicked thought, I patted his groin. “Is it all right?”
“It is, so you can stop playing with it now,” Wallace said. He smacked my hand away and pulled me along to follow Vicky onto an elevator.
The fat guy thankfully chose to check his mail first.
“You sure I can’t kiss it and make it better?” I whispered as we got off of the elevator.
Wallace chuckled. “My wife can handle that, thanks.”
Vicky was much farther down the hall by then. We noted which door she opened, getting the number before I phased us inside.
We said not a word as I went from room to room through the walls. Finally satisfied, I left through the side of the building. We flew to Leona’s apartment before I released Wallace’s hand.
Leona passed us each a beer as Wallace told her what had happened after we’d cut our daily plot short on her.
When he finished, Wallace looked at me. “Why did you search her apartment?”
“Clues of life,” I replied cryptically, smiling at both of them. “I was looking to see if she’d moved on yet, but she seems to be living alone. Even more encouraging was that she still had double M’s picture on her wall.”
Frowning with instant skepticism, Wallace said, “But it was taped to a dart board, which looked to be well-used.”
“Yes,” I admitted.
“And if I’m not mistaken, it looked like she had gouged the eyes out with a knife and written DIE FREAK at the top with magic marker.”
This revelation caused Leona to wince and pout at me. She’d begun to doubt my plan already.
I said, “So you’ve got your work cut out for you.”
“You want me to convince her to go back to him just so City can gets its hero out of a funk?” Wallace asked.
“No, I want you to convince her to go back because I know he still loves her. If you want, I can sneak you into his place to show you how much he still cares for her. In fact, I’ve been going over there sometimes when he’s at the gym to find something to use on Vicky.”
Unzipping the top of my body suit, I reached inside to pull out a short stack of letters from an inner pocket. “These are only a few of the letters they exchanged over the past few years. Apparently, they left love notes for each other around the house, and when she split, she left them in his apartment.”
“So you stole them,” Wallace said.
“I borrowed a few, Wallace. There’s a huge mess of them piled on the table beside the big guy’s couch, like he still reads them. I guarantee you that he’d never throw them away.”
I passed the letters to Wallace. “You won’t be cold reading Vicky, and I’m sure you can figure out a way to remind her how much he loves her. Read through those letters tonight Wallace. I know you’re an old-fashioned romantic, and I promise, you will be begging me for the chance to get these two back together after you finish that sample.”
Wallace stood up and took off his collar with a grimace. Rubbing his neck for a few seconds, he handed the collar to me without a word.
He pocketed the letters, and from the same pocket, he took out his car and a shrink ray gun, obviously intending to drive home.
I said, “I can’t convince you to keep the collar on for your own safety?”
“It’s a kidnapping,” Wallace said. “We shouldn’t run into problems, should we?”
He was making a joke, but his eyes were filled with worry even as he tried to fake a smile.
I said, “With luck, it should go about as smoothly as yours.”
“So far, luck hasn’t been too friendly to you in these matters,” Wallace retorted.
“Now who’s being a pessimist?” I asked.
Wallace nodded and headed for the door. Leona got up and left with Wallace, returning a moment later with a smile.
She sat down beside me and kissed me. This one kiss stretched out and became more intense as Leona leaned against me. But she kept her hand on my side, not trying to push for more than I was willing to offer.
She broke the kiss and settled her head on my shoulder before uttering a soft laugh. “You’re going to save the city by getting Miracle Man laid.”
Leona curled into a ball beside me, resting her legs over my lap. She began to suckle my neck, purring until she drifted into sleep.
It was still early in the evening, and I’d thought I had other plans. Obviously, I was wrong. In fact, I was quite obviously scheduled for a nap.
I gave in and closed my eyes.
... I write dark fiction in a variety of genres. My blog contains my rants and rambles, and some short fiction that can only be found here.
I can be pretty fucking offensive, so viewer discretion is advised.
Yep the cheese-whiz is getting a bit thick, but at least they found her. And I think even some of the normals started to notice that they were getting corny, and then just took it as a form of performing art.
Well hopefully Wallace can reach Vicky and show her that MM is still who he was, just a bit more than she knew.
“Well hopefully Wallace can reach Vicky and show her that MM is still who he was, just a bit more than she knew.”
That’s a great way to put it. I think you’ll be surprised how this works out, but Vicky does eventually come to see the error in her snap judgment of Chet.