It took us forever to get to the pizza parlor because we let Dale pick the place he wanted to go. We also let him take the lead, so of course we got to there about a half an hour after we left Wally’s shop.

Still fuming over being teased, I was silent for most of the trip. Wally and Dale spent that time discussing the better vegetable to go on pizza: pepperoni or chocolate chips.

To be honest, Dale did most of the talking while Wally stared with an expression of morbid fascination.

My mood improved once I’d had a few slices of pizza, and I was even smiling when Dale pleaded for permission to go play games.

He took off and Wally chuckled, shaking his head at me. “Okay, you like him for what reason?”

(more…)

When I woke up, all of my skin had returned, though I was covered in thick white scars that burned. Dale stood over me, and I had again found myself on the same table. The blood had disappeared from the room, so I was fairly certain that all my parts were back in order.

I grabbed a canister of healing spay from Wally and practically showered in it, sighing with relief as my pain was reduced to a minor itch.

My second “nap” had lasted three hours, and in that time Dale had adapted to his collar quickly. Dale stood beside me, waving his arms excitedly as he described his first trial flight with a collar.

He finished and stood panting the middle of the room, his eyes glowing. “Flying is neat,” he decided at last. “I think I could look everywhere at once.”

(more…)

Three thirty rolled around, and I went to my front door, smiling as I heard someone walking up the steps to my apartment. I opened the door and waved to Dale, who appeared awed by my act of “precognition” as he climbed the last few steps.

“How did you know?” he asked.

“You’re easy to predict.” I held up my hand to stop him from asking anything. “I’ve got a surprise for you. Let me lock up and we’ll go see a friend of mine. After that we can go on a patrol together.”

Dale’s eyes grew wide, and then he smiled like a kid spotting a huge present under the Christmas tree. “A real patrol? To look for bad guys for real?”

“Yes, a real patrol.” I locked my door and went down the stairs, making a bee line for the bus stop.

“Terry, my car—”

“No!” I yelled, coughing to cover for myself. “What I mean is, we have to travel incognito for this trip.” I grimaced when Dale nodded absently. “I lost you, didn’t I?”

Dale grinned. “Yep!”

Smacking my forehead, I walked over to him and put my hand on his shoulder, trying to think of the right thing to say. “We can’t use your car because the bad guys know to look for your gremlin. You’ve lost your stealth mode.”

I resisted the urge to kick him when he pouted.

(more…)

What I found when I got home was a long streak of blood running up my leg and the side of my shirt. As I looked closer in the full-length closet mirror, I could even find a few speckles on my cheek, hiding out among my freckles.

I glared at Chet and then returned to examining my stained clothing.

I mean, he could have said something sensible before we left the store. Something like “Oh my God! Terry, you’re covered in blood!”

At the very least, “so is that your new costume?” Which would have let me know that I needed to clean up or cover myself.

Instead he waited until we got my apartment. I’d been staring at this red line for nearly two minutes before he chuckled. “I thought it matched your hair perfectly.”

(more…)

Damn. You’d think a smart girl like me could avoid a lonely retard, but my day wouldn’t be complete without a visit from my new best buddy.

I opened the door to a soft knock just seconds after the furniture delivery crew left. I thought it was one of the movers knocking after opening the envelope containing his bonus—which would be kept off the company records, of course.

That was why I didn’t check the peephole.

That and taking a chair across the room seemed like too much work. In retrospect, I really should have made the effort, because I could have hidden inside my house all day.

Instead I opened the door, and then sighed at the of the worst use of oxygen the planet had ever seen standing on my doorstep.

It was the hopeful look in his eyes that annoyed me, like I was a sucker for any old sob story.

“Dale, what do you want?” I held up my hand before he could speak. “No, better yet, how did you find my apartment?”

(more…)

When I left Joe’s apartment the next day to go shopping for furniture, I ran into Dale again. I was tempted to ask what I’d done do deserve this in my past life, but I knew that would lead to my feeble conscience reading me a list of every crime I’d committed as Icee.

I scowled as I leaned over to look through the passenger window. “Are you stalking me?”

Dale leaned toward the driver’s side door like he was trying to avoid my hate vibes. “No,” he whined. “It’s just, I haven’t made up for your bad day yet.”

“You know what? You can help,” I said, and then opened the door. “If you can take me to a furniture store that’s near here, I’ll forgive you, and then you can move on, okay?”

He nodded and beamed a smile of childlike brightness. “Okay!”

Long story short, I spent three hours listening to Ride of the Valkyries while Dale made up new lyrics every time the song played. Granted, he had a nice voice, but I spent three hours listening to nonsense like: “I’ve got a pony! I’m just so happy! I call him Slappy, and together we ride!”

(more…)